How to make alternative tripods

Where was this video when I needed it?

Bag of rice. Water bottle. 1/4 bolt with #20 thread. String.

Stupid me. Handheld. Videotaping club soccer games without a tripod. Shaky, unwatchable hours of pixels.

The storytelling is leisurely, but worth the wait. If you do not have a tripod, these alternatives work just as well if not better.